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2. Battle Mushrooms

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 00:55:47 GMT

Season 1, Episode 2
Challenger's Specialty: Contemporary American
My Final Dish: Portobello Burgers with Provolone and Grilled Onion

Mushrooms are fungi, a kingdom of organisms characterized by a number of things, but are most notable for existing somewhere between plant and animal. Fungus feeds on other organic compounds, and cannot produce it's own nourishment in the way plants can, yet they also possess the cell walls that give plants their firmness. Mushrooms are the name given to the "fruit" of fungus, the part of the fungus that produces the spores it needs to reproduce.

Culinarily speaking, mushrooms pop up everywhere, and there are dozens upon dozens of varieties of edible mushrooms. By far the most common, however, is the ever so appropriately named common mushroom, which is cultivated and sold at three stages. At it's smallest, the mushroom is tiny, white and compact, often known as white mushrooms. The "adolescent" stage begins to turn brown and slowly starts to sprout. These are known as brown mushrooms. The adult form produces an enormous, fully bloomed cap--the Portobello.

I will admit, I am not a big eater of mushrooms, and a lot of it has been based on misconceptions. When I started to wash the portobello caps, I shuddered at how slimy they felt under the water. I was convinced this would be less than appetizing. Furthermore, there was apprehension in preparing this dish. I'd done scallops before, but never mushrooms.

Fungi are actually more genetically similar to animals than plants, and the taste of mushrooms is similar--portobellos, especially, are notable for their meatiness. They may grow from the ground, but these are nothing like veggies. The meatiness was a pleasant surprise, and the final dish ended up tasting incredible.

The caps were marinated in a mixture of balsamic vinegar, olive oil, minced garlic, and freshly chopped basil and oregano for about fifteen minutes. They then went out on the grill for about six minutes per side, and were topped with provolone for the last two. The red onion slices were brushed with olive oil and grilled alongside them. I also prepared an actual hamburger for my sister, who is by no means an adventurous eater. I served it with kettle chips and baby carrots. Whoopee.

I would absolutely cook this one again, but my sister won't eat it and my dad doesn't eat cheese, which I think was one of the most important layers of flavor in this dish. I'm sure I'll find another opportunity to whip it up.

Coming up next is # 3- Crab (French/Asian). I have no idea what I'm going to make, considering the French don't seem very fond of crab. I think I'll lean towards Asian this time.

1. Battle Scallops

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 23:37:21 GMT

Season 1, Episode 1
Challenger's Specialty: Italian
My Final Dish: Scampi Style Scallops with Spaghetti

Scallops are a bivalve mollusk, the name derived from an Old French word meaning "Shell". They are unusual amongst bivalves in that they are migratory, which is why the muscle in scallops are so much larger than other bivalves.

Scallops are one of my favorite foods and I am extremely grateful that this was the first dish, given I've prepared this one before just the way my mom taught me, whoopee~

I used frozen scallops because we had them. I don't think there's that much of a difference between frozen and fresh, at least not when it comes to scallops, but what do I know right? After cleaning them, I coated them in a thin layer of flour and seasoned with salt and pepper, and then sauteed them in butter and oil for about 5 minutes (2 1/2 mins per side.) When the scallops were cooked, I removed them from the pan and then added chopped garlic, clam juice and vermouth ( a white wine often used in cooking) and let the sauce reduce. I then mixed the scallops back into the sauce for a couple more minutes, and then poured them and the sauce in with the pasta, which was already cooked. I tossed and then served alongside blanched snow peas. Voila~!

And thus, it is done. The first self appointed culinary challenge out of 115. Number two is slated for Thursday night--the challenge is #2- Mushrooms (Contemporary American). I don't eat mushrooms a lot, so this will be an adventure I'm sure.

I want to be Julie Powell.

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 19:30:42 GMT

Not going back to school has been great in a lot of ways. I have been a lot less stressed out, for the most part. It's been unbelievable to feel like I have freedom for once. Even though I'm living at home, I feel a thousand times more independent than I ever did living in a college dorm.

I'm going to start dog walking soon--just need to get all the details squared away, you know, things like the ever so lovely criminal background check and whatnot. I'll also hear back from Philly Zoo soon to find out if I got a job with them or not. Here's hoping.

Though not having to worry about school has been a nice feeling, there are still other ways to find stress--namely dad, who likes to remind me often that I'm sitting around and wasting my time. He's constantly suggested that I read more or learn to cook or do something productive--of course, our definitions of productive differ greatly (I find reading fanfiction and playing video games extremely productive. He does not.)

The biggest thing I've been doing with my free time, however, is watch the Food Network. How did I not know the magic of this channel until recently? My favorite show on the Food Network would have to be Iron Chef. Cooking as a blood sport--how is that not amazing?

For those of you who have never seen it, allow me to explain the premise. An experienced chef, the challenger, enters Kitchen Stadium and challenges one of the five Iron Chefs to a cook off, in which they have an hour to prepare a five course meal for a panel of judges. The twist is that each episode has a "secret ingredient"--an item that must feature in all five dishes in one way or another.

So here is where I tie this entry together. I am going to learn to cook, per my dads' wishes that I do something more productive. I am going to do so by sort of ripping off the Julie from "Julie and Julia." And I will do so by cooking 115 dishes, each one featuring the secret ingredient from an episode of Iron Chef, cooked in the culinary style of that episodes' challenger. I will not give myself a deadline like Julie did, because I don't want to--however, I would hope that it doesn't take more than a year. I will be cooking the dishes in order of the episodes, so therefore, my first dish will be... 1. Scallops (Italian).

Is this pretentious? Absolutely. Do I care? Kind of. But god damn it, I want an excuse to make lots and lots of weird food and this is as good of an excuse as any, right?

America's Next Top Model, Cycle 13- Halfway There

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 17:05:48 GMT

Well okay, the cycle is more than halfway over--there are only three episodes left before America's Next Tiny Model is selected, and only five of them remain! Congrachelations!
Let's look at the casualty count thusfar-
1. Lisa, out in episode one, see last post for deets
2. Rachel, who despite her heinously enormous eyeballs, couldn't overcome being completely boring at a surprise outside of panel elimination
3. Courtney, kicked off to make me feel sad
4. Lulu, resident homo who was stricken with a case of Spontaneous Cunt Edit
5. Bijanka, let go when the judges could no longer overlook the fact that she wasn't pretty
6. Ashley, who just couldn't stop being a suck
7. Kara, a deep fried drag queen with a freakishly distracting lazy eye and a horrifying bitch streak who, upon being eliminated proclaimed "I shouldn't have even bothered trying out if I wasn't going to win"
8. Rae, who was there... supposedly
9. Brittany, whose mummified appearance usually managed to vanish somehow in her pictures. Nevertheless, she was kind of not pretty and eliminated for being too analytical. Which, if you watch her CoverGirl Commercial, doesn't even begin to describe her personality.

In the weeks that have passed since the premiere, there have, of course, been other developments. The girls have had to race through Wal Mart, perform a dance routine while wearing Jason-esque white masks, and learn to surf. These are just examples of some of the many extremely relevant tasks they have had to master, as most real models have done as well. The show also got a foxy fresh new elimination track courtesy of Marvin Fequiere, the husband of Cycle 10 Alum Stacy-Ann (aka the lap dance girl with the squeaky voice). Be warned, when I call it foxy fresh, I mean that it is the textbook definition of lolwut and may cause you extreme embarassment if you listen to it in a place where others can hear it.

Anyway, we are now down to five girls, and the photo assignments they have had are as follows-
1. Recreating photos of themselves as babies, which can be seen in the premiere recap a couple of entries down.
2. Because Seabiscuit was also too a shrimp who made it in a big horse's world, the girls were asked to pose alongside a horse and jockey. This is America's Next Top Model, though, so to keep it "fashion" the girls were also portraying a sort of riff on Lady Godiva.
3. In a cycle about embracing shortness, the girls had to make themselves appear tall... somehow.
4. Tyra took time out of her busy schedule to photograph beauty shots of the gurrals, in which they had their hair wrapped in fabric so they could resemble Tyra when she first wakes up. I am not making this up, she actually said that and then flashed a pic onscreen to punctuate the point.
5. The models were whisked away to Vegass to pose with Cirque Du Soliel in groups. Whee.
6. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Erroneously labeled as being "Ninjas" by everyone involved, despite the fact the weapons are clearly chinese and they were doing the shoot in a Chinese martial arts studio.
7. The girls got to write their own CoverGirl Commercial Script and then perform it. Despite being a "world renowned fashion photographer", Nigel was their director for some reason. I blame budget cuts.
8. I also blame budget cuts for their overseas destination--Hawaii--which only technically counts as overseas. Despite being a cop out, the location is beautiful and the planned shoots sound great so I'm not complaining. Anyway, for their first week in Hawaii, the girls celebrated Hawaii's multicultural community by transforming into biracial models. The shoot was attacked the day after the episode by various media outlets for being "blackface." This is of course, bogus, considering that no matter how controversy hungry she is, Tyra herself is black and I don't think she's THAT stupid, not to mention the show has changed the girls races before FIVE YEARS AGO.

ERIN
Aka "The Whiny Brat", 18, Kenosha, WI

Alongisde Nicole and Sundai

Biracial Idenity: Tibetan and Egyptian

Watch Her CoverGirl Commercial Here
Erin is a little weird looking in person, thanks to Tyra's bizarre decision to bleach away her eyebrows. You get used to seeing it after an entire cycle, but you still can't help but wonder what the fuck happened to her face. Fortunately for her, the eyebrowless look usually photographs wonderfully, and Erin has certianly manged to impress on film.
Unfortunately for her, she is also a raging, immature bitch who needs to learn the long forgotten art of shutting thyself the flying fuck up. Every episode features Erin finding something to complain about or someone to smacktalk--most recently, she threw a hissy fit when she did badly at the CoverGirl commercial and later griped that her challenge prize, a helicopter flight over Hawaii, was boring and she would have rather gotten jewelry or something. Mhm.

WHY SHE'LL WIN
-Strong Photos
-Um...
-Yeah
WHY SHE WON'T
-She's annoying
-Tyra knows she's annoying
-Hell, everyone knows she's annoying

JENNIFER
Aka "The Asian Preselect", 23, Philadelphia PA (Woo Woo!)

Alongside Brittany and Rae

Biracial Identity: Botswanan and Polynesian

Watch Her CoverGirl Commercial Here
Hey Girls!
So I've blogged about Jennifer before, and I undestand she isn't everyone's cup of tea, mostly because people hate Asians, but that is besides the point. I personally feel that though her portfolio has a few rough spots, she's been a solid performer on the whole, and it's pretty clear she's a lock for the final, considering she hasn't done anything to bother the judges too heinously yet.
Of course, she bothers the viewers, specifically the ones on that forum that I often ask myself why I read so religously, as they are all convinced Tyra has pre selected her as the winner based on her race and Tyra's need to fill quotas. They all believe she will probably be in the final two with Nicole, who is by all counts the strongest girl this cycle and the one who should win, and she'll take the title because Tyra won't want the inevitable backlash for chosing a white girl over an Asian (see Whitney, Cycle 10's Plus Sized Winner for more details on this phenomenon).
And of course, they are probably all right in assuming this--but because she is a Philly Girl, she clearly SHOULD win. Yeah, that's right.

WHY SHE'LL WIN:
-Cute
-Race Quotas
-Funny Third Thing
WHY SHE WON'T:
-Because Tyra knows you're still mad about Anya
-Because She'll be up against Nicole, who is pretty much perfect
-Because one eye is bigger than the other, no really

LAURA
Aka "The Loveable Hick" 19, Stanford KY

Alongside Ashley and Kara (regrettably, seeing as they bring down the quality of the overall image with their fug)

Biracial Identiy: Mexican and Greek

Laura is the three legged puppy of the show, let loose with the others to make the viewers let out at least one "aww" per episode. She is oodles of cute (which, scientifically speaking, is roughly equivalent to a shit ton of cute), not to mention she is endearing to the umpteenth degree with her charming accent, her sense of humor, and her extremely earnest desire to win.
The judges like to underrate Laura, because they know it will make the audience want to hug her even more than they already do. Laura could be our underdog winner, or she could be gearing up for the most heartbreaking elimination ever (or at least since Marjaleigh was split up in cycle 11.)

WHY SHE'LL WIN:
-Because everyone loves her
-Because she should
-Because I want her too, dammit!!!!
WHY SHE WON'T:
-Because the judges seem to dislike her at times for random reasons
-Because dyslexics arent' CoverGirls
-Because she'll be eliminated in favor of someone far weirder.

NICOLE
Aka "America's Favorite Freak Show", 18, Louisville CO

Biracial Idenity: Malagasy and Japanese

Nicole is flawlessly photogenic and borderline socially retarded--a combination Top Model has always been fond of and is sure to employ on every cycle. Of course, Nicole's lack of social graces has lead the other girls to describe her as boring, and also to seethingly despise her for no real reason, even though we haven't really seen anything that despicable out of her. Girls who are mean to Nicole have a nasty habit of getting eliminated, however, which means that for once, the Goddess of Fierce might be on the side of Weird. Which, considering how batshit crazy Tyra is in the first place, makes it a little odd that she hasn't been throwing the crown to the freakiest model to walk in the room every season.

WHY SHE'LL WIN
-Unlike other Token Awkwards, she actually is good at everything, including commercials, go sees and runway
-The camera loves her... you know, as like, more than a friend
- She's so liekable, she might even be a mudkip
WHY SHE WON'T
-Because she's White. Sucks for her.

SUNDAI
Aka "The Little Engine that Couldn't", 18, Bakersfield CA

Biracial Idenity: Moroccan and Russian

Sundai is beautiful, infectiously energetic, funny, and apparently, she really likes noodles. She is also the shortest ANTM girl ever, which combined with her face and personality seems like it would give way to a really great underdog edit.
Alas, poor Sundai has the distinction of being decent to good when everyone else is good to freaking fabulous, and with only three episodes left, it's clear she won't shape up in time for it to matter--even if her last few shots are incredible, it will be tough to deny the consistency of the rest of the back. Of course, she was saddled with a heinously awkward "Rihanna Inspired' makeover which was recently, out of nowhere, replaced by a more flattering weave with no mention by anyone of the obvious change.
Ultimatley, Sundai would have had better luck on a Multiple of Three Cycle, as they are the cycles designated for black winners.

WHY SHE'LL WIN:
-Why do a short cycle unless you're going to pick someone really, really short?
- Because she really wants it
-Oh hell, who am I kidding
WHY SHE'LL WIN:
-Nicole is has better pictures
-Laura has better jokes
-Erin's a better bitch

Anyway, Youtube is down right now so I don't have all of their commercials linked but if you really care you can seek them out yourself.
The last three weeks will supposedly have more phun ahead, including an undewater shoot and a photoshoot where they will portray Pele, the most famous of Hawaiian godesses. Of course, none of this is as important as the biggest twist yet--the episode description has fortold of a double elimination at the final four, meaning that for the first time ever, only two models will make it to the finale episode. Shock and Awe abound.

There is only one way to be beautiful--and that is going against the grain! (aka a continuation of r

Sat, 03 Oct 2009 14:03:41 GMT

I get it--eating disorders are caused by the fashion industry, this is a "fact" that we have all been taught time and time again. There is no way that ED's are a form of OCD that can develop as coping mechanisms for a multitude of problems beyond weight. Nooo way.

I read a lot of featured articles, not only on xanga, but all over the interwebs, where people like to write about what "real" women--or "real" men look like--and the result is always the same. Society and the Media tells us women are skeletal with the only curves they have being their boobs , than men are chiseled to Adonis levels and completely hairless. The "reality" is not only that "real" people don't look like this, but that people who match the media representation--and those who find them attractive--are inherently evil.

I mean, I get it--we do not really have an accurate representation of the way average people look within our entertainment industries. But I feel like this is another classic situation where a disadvantaged group feels the best method of advancing themselves is to flip the tables on the privileged group.

Someone's body type does not determine how "real" they are and it's offensive to say so. I would like to point out that--surprise--they are ways for people to be skinny that don't require starving themselves. I can't count the number of times I've seen someone tell a skinny girl to "eat something" or compare them to holocaust victims (!).

I am not saying that "real" people are wrong to like the way their bodies look--all I am saying, is, in a cheesy, hippie-ish way, is that I wish people could start to accept more than one look as a beautiful look. Bony or curvy, smooth or hairless, it doesn't have to be one or the other.

PART TWO

I wasn't intending to write about this, but the first part made me think of it, so I'm gonna post.

On the forum, a user posted this beautiful nugget of wisdom that drew a lot of attention. The user is featured in her avatar, by the way.

There was not a single poster who took what she said lightly--and I don't blame anyone. What this girl said was quite frankly, obnoxious, presumptuous, and hateful.

ONE- The idea that Americans choose "ugly" Asian women as models of beauty so they can feel better about themselves is quite frankly absurd. Generally when American women talk about well known Asian beauties, it is with an aspect of admiration for their beauty... I don't see how this makes sense at all, I really don't.

TWO- From what I have seen and read about "Asian standards" (a frequent topic when Asian contestants are on Top Model) the ideal for Asian beauty, is, quite frankly, to look as non Asian as possible. The user stated that "J-Pop and HK Stars" are more appropriate examples of beautiful Asian women. A lot of J-Pop singers have larger eyes, rounder features, and in general, a whiter look. THIS IS NOT TO SAY THEY ARE NOT BEAUTIFUL. However, a lot of women who are considered ugly by "Asian standards" are the ones who are distinctly more ethnic. Jennifer has smaller, distinctly Asian eyes, a flat nose, a more rectangular jawline, a tanner complexion and more prominent teeth. This is not a girl who would have you guess her race--and apparently, that makes her ugly.

THREE- Note how in her profile picture, the kimono is the only telling sign that the poster is Asian.

FOUR- On what planet is Lucy Liu ugly? I mean really now.

FIVE- The best way I can think to wrap this up is that I find it highly ironic that an Asian poster is telling us that there is only one kind of beautiful Asian woman, and furthermore, that personal taste doesn't exist. Seems like someone needs to deal with their self hate.

America's Next Top Model, Cycle 13, Episodes One and Two

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 19:08:45 GMT

Yeah I'm doing this again so.... k.

As previously announced, ANTM's 13th cycle has Tyra attempting to "change the industry" by casting a cycle with petite models ONLY--that is, women 5'7" and UNDER. Of course, like her various other attempts to change the industry, this one will fail, and, like her other attempts, it will be glorious to watch it burn on the way down.

That's not to say I don't agree with Tyra's purported principles of expanding what society AND the fashion industry considers beautiful, but ANTM has been and always will be a fantastic form of entertainment--any goals actually related to fashion are secondary. The premier exemplified that.

Tyra started things off by having a fake agent gather the semi finalists and lambaste them for being short. Tyra took the opportunity to fly onstage, scream at the man in a bizarre French accent, and then vanish, returning just in time for interviews.

We met a lot of new models, but none quite as memorable as...

AMBER

Amber was either the most truly brainwashed ex-addict Christian ever or an agent of /b/ unleashed as an IRL troll--either way, she was phenomenally amusing.
Amber's shtick was primarily a combination of over the top affect and a borderline-stalker level obsession with Jesus Christ. Amongst her (many) memorable moments were:
-Her statement that her bogusly large hat is "wonderful luck."
- Her unusual runway walk, which was her "catwalk--meeee-ow"
-Her proclamation that she loves Jesus so much (and is getting lovinger about him each day) that she just wants to sing "Jeh-zus, you are my best frieeeeend"
-Her proclamation that she is technically not a virgin but she has been abstinent for two years because "you know you are supposed to have that burning sensation for your lord Jesus"
-Her demonstration of how she dances and raps for the homeless on Friday nights
-Her exclamation upon being selected for the final fourteen that "I LOVE YOU JESUS!!!!" When Tyra asked if she would still love him if she didn't get picked...

Thank you to Nade at rtvgames.com for the pictures, btw.

Now, you are probably asking yourself... if Amber was picked for the final fourteen, why doesn't she have any real photos?
That's because, unfortunately for us, the viewing public, she dropped out between episodes one and two, depriving us of what may have been the most influential contestant since Jade (of "elephants are dinosaurs" and "my mother can manipulate the energies in the universe" fame).

Worry not, though--Tyra shuffled in a last minute replacement from Semi Finals and the show went on. Makeovers happened right off the bat, which was good, though most of them weren't really makeovers, which was bad. Their first photoshoot had them taking "editorial" shots inspired by baby photos of each of them--an idea which could have gone very poorly, but went surprisingly well.

At panel, actual, bona-fide, current supermodel Chanel Iman was the guest judge, (and when I say she is a supermodel, I mean it--like, fashion people actually care about her) and though she didn't have anything really useful to say... it was nice to see a reminder that somewhere, this show is about fashion.

Anyway, lets get into the meat of the models.

ASHLEY
22, Chicago, IL

The Basics:
-Scouted as an audience member on Tyra's talk show
-Judges loved her photo
The Details:
Ashley is like a busted up version of cycle 5's stunning runner up, Nik. I was pleasantly surprised by her on the show, after that asstrocious promotional photo (the first one.) Despite the fact that the judges loved her first picture, her overall edit seems weak and unpromising. She serves as this cycle's generic black girl--a girl who is doomed to lose, because Saleisha already won. Which is a shame, because her first photos alone are better than Saleisha's entire portfolio was.

BIANCA BIJANKA
21, Columbia, SC

The Basics:
-Shaved her head after leaving an abusive boyfriend
-Claims to be intelligent to "carry on a conversation with Obama or Hillary Clinton." I don't know if this means she is a political science major or not.
-Was in the bottom two, not for her photo, but her sour attitude and constant complaints. She survived, of course.
The Details:
When Bianca recounted her story to the judges at casting, she actually did touch me. Nothing about the story itself was particularly groundbreaking, but the way she told it was very powerful and surprisingly touching. Needless to say, this was the high point of Bijanka's story arc. Come makeovers, she bitched and moaned about her "drastic" change (lightened eyebrows) and then continued her bitchfest on the photoshoot set by whining about her makeup and wardrobe. Not to mention she was just, quite frankly, stank to the others (she told Nicole straight up that "there is something wrong with you.")

Bianca Golden, of ANTM 9, is perhaps one of the most memorable villains of top model. She bullied Heather, who was autistic, sobbed over her last minute bald makeover, made numerous attempts to sabotauge her competition, was called out by Tyra Banks on her talk show (with Tyra saying that if she had seen footage of what Bianca was doing in the house during the show, she would have probably been eliminated for her stank ho'ness) and, most importantly, brawled with Hairspray star Nikki Blonsky and her family in a Caribbean airport.

Bijanka is clearly trying to be Bianca, but like last cycle's Sandra, she is doing it wrong.

BRITTANY
21, Livermore, CA

The Basics:
-Math Major to the extreme, thinks calculators are fun
-Tyra thinks she lacks romanticism and is probably right
-A blog from a friend of her ex claims she is psychotic--in a bad way. I wouldn't doubt it.
The Details:
The best part of Brittany was that she prompted this.
That's pretty much that--she has one of those faces that looks either very "fashion" or very old. She reeks of filler but there is a group somewhere claiming that spoilers say she wins. I doubt it.

COURTNEY
22, Plantation, FL

The Basics:
-A cheerleader, spent the entire first episode on crutches after breaking her foot in a cheer routine
-She's in a boot now so she can take it off for shoots and stuff, for those wondering
The Details:
Courtney appears every season--the girl who I adore to bits who clearly has an edit that isn't going anywhere and 0 chance of winning. The judges liked her photo well enough to place it in the top half, and I'm sure they will continue to like but not LOOOOOVE her pictures for a couple of weeks until she makes some sort of error that they can deem major enough for her to be eliminated over.
Le sigh.

ERIN
18, Spring Grove, IL

The Basics:
-Hates girly stuff, likes being a nerd
-Tyra clearly hates her for the above but hasn't said anything to indicate as such, just makes expressions that say it all
-Yes, her makeover does include bleached eyebrows
The Details:
Erin is a pokemon trainer, which makes me inclined to root for her. However, she's got a lot of things working against her--namely edit and the fact that the judges hate any girl who proclaims to be smart. In her interview, she said she hates lip gloss, shoes and shopping and is very academically driven. Tyra was seething the whole time and I am honestly shocked she got cast.
In terms of her looks, I really am not sure how to feel--especially in regards to the makeover, which will clearly have a hit-or-miss look in photos and a "what the flying fuck" look every time she is onscreen.

JENNIFER
23, Philadelphia, PA

The Basics:
-Once fought a girl over a boy and drew blood
-Prone to excessive squealing
-According to preshow interviews, she poops a lot. No joke, she said this.
The Details:
After 13 cycles, we finally have a girl from Philly (specifically Fox Chase), so of course Jennifer has my support. Everyone online likes to think she will win because of her eye condition but they said the same thing about Sheena and that, well... didn't happen.
I personally think Jennifer is quite beautiful, but the Asians online like to remind us repeatedly that she doesn't match Asian standards of beauty. Non Asian users like to spout about how they see more modelesque Asian girls than her every day.
I personally think a lot of it is that there is, to a degree, a level of racism. People tend to think that the prettiest Asians, are, well... the ones who don't look Asian. You know, big eyes, pale skin, small chin with big lips, yadda yadda. I could write a whole post on my observations of this, but that is for another time.
I think Jennifer is beautiful.

KARA
19, Fort Wayne, IN

The Basics:
-Lived in Costa Rica and Fiji (where she made a living castrating sheep.)
-That's pretty much it.
The Details:
Oh lord.
Kara's face can (keyword there) photograph nicely, but often times in person, she appears like, for a lack of a better term, hot fried ass. She is filler to the max and could very well be gone next week. Hopefully.
I also get the feeling she likes to consider herself more worldly than she is. She also probably hangs out with photographers who think they are better than they actually are and they smoke weed and cry about how misunderstood they are before they pop in the Garden State soundtrack and have an in depth discussion about "On The Road."

LAURA
19, Stanford, KY

The Basics:
- Southern as hail
-Castrates cows for a living, and claims it keeps men from cheating
The Details:
Laura is wonderful. Her personality is effervescent and sassy, her determination is unwavering and her face is exquisitely photogenic. Even if I didn't like her, I'd still have her pegged as the winner.

LISA
19, Queens, NY

The Basics:
-So boring that her casting interview only featured Jay discussing her eyebrows.
-Didn't actually make the cast the first time and was brought in to replace Amber when she dropped out.
-Was eliminated first anyway.
The Details:
Lisa was so phenomenally boring that I might even say she is memorable for being boring. She had no personality, spunk, or energy. Her completely DOA persona being brought in as a replacement for Amber, Queen of the Crazies, was beyond a disappointment. Her elimination interviews even prove that she has no personality.
And despite all that, the fact that she was eliminated first still seems unfair... well, until you look at her photo again, at least.

LULU
19, Brooklyn, NY

The Basics:
-Gay.
-Has her girlfriend's name tattooed on her chest.
The Details:
I want to like Lulu more than I do. She's beautiful, doesn't take bad photos, and she's the token dyke! What's not to love, besides the lack of screentime?

NICOLE
18, Boulder, CO

The Basics:
-Born with a bloody eyeball
-Had no reaction when called into the finalist group by Tyra (I'm not even kidding, she stared blankly into space for a good 10 seconds and then walked to join the others)
-Carried her books to school in a wheelbarrow
The Details:
Nicole is a prime candidate for undiagnosed social anxiety. She has no desire to interact with the other girls--she herself said she wants to skip the socializing and go straight to the modeling. She truly seems lost when interacting with the others--but when they do skip to the modeling, boy does she bring it. Her look reminds me of Alice Burdeu, my arch nemesis from AuSNTM--if Alice, were, you know... pretty.
Nicole is clearly our awkward good photo taker this cycle. If she doesn't make it overseas then I will be genuinely shocked.

RACHEL
18, Woodland, CA

The Basics:
-Mocked as a child for her freakishly large "Bambi Eyes"
-Tyra adores her
The Details:
Rachel is a girl who I want to like, but can't for two big reasons.
The first is that her photo from the shoot is so heinously bad that I am actually amazed she wasn't in the bottom of the pack for it. Seriously, what the fuck.
Secondly, she has a rabid pack of followers on the forum, and they all just so happen to be totally deplorable idiots. Like no joke--someone said that they Rachel has grown on them, and the response they received was...
wait for it...
"Congrachelations."

RAE
21, Rochester, MN

The Basics:
-Single Mother
-Was once kidnapped and sexually assaulted at a gas station. Word is not yet out on if the fact she is a single mother relates to this incident.
-Was the first C13 recipient of "Photo of the Week"
The Details:
Rae is someone who I feel like I should like but don't, and furthermore, don't want to like. Her basic blonde beauty just doesn't grasp my attention, and at times, she reminds me of Naomi Watts if she had a blossoming staph infection in the middle of her face. I also find her photo supremely overhyped.
I would also like to point out that in case you haven't noticed, Tyra's big makeover theme this cycle was "eyebrows are evil." She says the eyebrowless thing is a look. It's a look all right... but I'm not about to call it a good one.

SUNDAI
18, Bakersfield, CA

The Basics:
-At 5'3", she is the shortest ANTM girl ever
-Grew up in an abusive home/abusive foster care/abusive orphanage until being adopted
-Her legal birth name is, in fact, Sundai Love
The Details:
Sundai has a very explosive personality, a sob story, a gorgeous face, and the hurdle of being the tiniest of the tinies (A surprising fact, given that the short cycle would have been Tyra's only chance to cast an actual little person).
I don't know if Sundai will win, but she has herself a ticket to the second half of the competition, at the very least. Sure, her photos haven't been very good thusfar, but this way she can "improve."

Phew. That's it. 14 ladies (not that any of you care that deeply, really), all of whom are poised to make this the biggest little modeling show in history. (and I mean it--the episode reminds us, quite frequently, that this is "making history." I nodded my head and smiled.)

Why I Hate Gay Activism- The Continued Rant.

Sat, 05 Sep 2009 15:37:11 GMT

This week on Top Chef, the chefs were gathered together to cook for a group of 300 members of the US Air Force and their families. Guess who notably DIDN'T gripe about the military being an unfair institution that discriminates against gays and lesbians? (If you don't get this, read my last entry.)

Today I will be ranting further on the topic of gay activism and the people who are doing it wrong. I am writing about said topic because quite frankly, it annoys me. Note that I am not claiming to be some sort of magical charity supporting world saver who is currently involved with tons of organizations that fight AIDS and save the homeless--all I am claiming is that I have an opinion and that I want to share it.

Ashley's rant on marriage equality made me think about how that is every gay's favorite rant--we want marriage and we want it now. The most frequent kind of gay (and you have all met someone like this) is the slightly effeminate high school student who really hasn't struggled very much in life and most likely overstates the difficulties being gay has caused them. They are the ones who weep to you softly with little provocation about how they aren't going to be able to spend their life with the person they love because people are closed minded. If you ask them about any non-marriage related issue, they will probably be lost.

This is not to say that I don't think marriage equality is important--but I'm not going to claim it's the end all be all of my existence. I'm nowhere near ready to be married--I haven't even found a guy I would like to marry--so I see it as when the time comes for me to cross that threshold, we will hopefully be further along on that front. But that's just my self oriented perspective--I know there are couples who have been together for decades and just want the opportunity to make it legal yadda yadda yadda.

The most common gay-oriented opposition to the marriage-only activist is the "You don't care about black people with AIDS" activist who likes to shout at the rich high school kids who cry about marriage because, well... they don't care about gays of color with AIDS. That's a very shallow interpretation of the causes, but you all get the idea. The idea is that you have two kinds of gay activists constantly at war--the kind who want marriage because it gives them something to be passionate about, and the kind who can't stand to see marriage as the main issue when there are minority groups within the gay community who are still marginalized in more ways.

Personally, I think it is really unfortunate that people need to effectively chose one side or the other, but ultimately... the attackers have a point. A lot of middle class white gays don't realize there are other people who are fighting for their own rights, and a lot of them are very selfish. The kind of person who bothers me the most is the kind of person who balks at you when you aren't at the forefront of gay rights, but they in turn couldn't tell you a thing about the current battles on the fronts for say, racial equality. The kind of person who wants everyone to be outraged at stereotype of a gay character on tv, but couldn't bring themselves to even pretend they cared about Jena 6. If people want others to care about their issues they need to be willing and wanting to return the favor. Equality is equal because it's not selective--you can't just choose one group you want equality for and then ignore the others. Bull fucking shit, man.

I think a lot of people online who defended Ashley's stance on the "unfair" wedding challenge are probably people who come from this selfish mindset. I guarantee you they want Ashley or one of the other gay chefs to take the crown, if only because they are homos.

I have never been good at rooting for gays for the sake of gayness--I have tried in my past to do so, if only because when you are younger, you don't always understand how to best reconcile your gay indentity with non-gay things. The fact is, the show isn't about who is the gayest or the best gay chef--it's about who is the best chef, regardless of their personality. I know it's not always easy for a viewer to separate personality from performance when it comes to identifying a favorite, but I don't think gays should always root for a gay contestant--it marginalizes the importance of talent AND personality, IMO.

This all brings me to my final point-- Vogue Evolution.

America's Best Dance Crew (on MTV) is in it's fourth season. The show is a weekly AI type deal where dance crews from across the country compete live, showcasing a routine each week that fulfills the requirements for a specific challenge. The audience votes each week for their favorite crew--the two with the fewest votes fall to the bottom in the next episode, and must dance for their lives in front of the judges, who will choose who stays and who goes.

Though all the routines and crews have a hip hop undertone to them, the crews are often ones with very distinct dance backgrounds. The remaining five crews in the current season range from an all female crew of poppers, a group of latin ballroom dancers, a crew of b-boys, some straight up hip hoppers from NYC, and Vogue Evolution, a Bronx based group who has emerged from the underground House Ball scene with a distinct voguing style.

For those unfamiliar with the ball scene/ voguing, you can watch any season of ANTM with Benny Ninja and you should get a pretty clear idea of what's up.

In short, the ball community is made up of "houses," which often rip their names from fashion labels. Houses compete in various performances at balls, which are big competitions/pageants/parties. The two big categories are runway (self explanatory) and vogue (A dance style made up of extreme, sharp, pose like movements.) It's hard to explain but if you see it, you know you are seeing it.

The Ball community is predominantly made up of gay men and women of color, as well as transgendered people. The Ball is a place where they are free to express their gender however they choose. Vogue Evolution, for example, is four gay guys and a transgendered woman.

What makes these houses such important places for these individuals is that they often come from environments where their self expression is made illegitimate. These balls give them a chance at self expression in a way that the rest of the world really doesn't understand.

Vogue Evolution is the crew I want to see win (you can check them on youtube) and it's partially because they are the gay crew--but more so because I think they are good. I think they are amazing, even.

If people want to support a gay contestant on a show like Ashley, who makes a statement where she is the victim and she is whining about one big issue, they can do that. I would rather support Vogue Evolution because they are bringing their own form of self expression to the forefront and showing people that their artistic viewpoint is just as valid as any other dance crew, and they are exposing people to an aspect of LGBT culture along the way. Sure, Vogue Evolution winning won't go towards legalizing gay marriage, but I think it is a smaller, more important step towards long term equality.

Er, anyway, that was my rant. I hope school is treating everyone well--as for me, I have a couple of job interviews set up and I will be sure to blog about them when results are in hand!

Is it bad that I crave to be featured?/

Sun, 30 Aug 2009 20:03:54 GMT

Seriously, most of the xanga posts I read these days are the featured essays. I don't always agree that what they have to say is relevant, interesting, or even right, but I find myself addicted to the opinions of the masses. Quite frankly, I am shocked at times by the statements that are made in some of these entries. I am earnestly gobsmacked that some people can be so ignorant and er dense.

I'm mostly looking at you, Datingish, (By the way, can I say ew at the -ish suffix?) though Lovleyish and Mancouch are certainly contributors.

Like... does anyone think that the majority of the advice given in the 'how to connect with guys/girls' columns is actually valid? Or that "what guys/girls" really want, is, in fact, what they really want?

I guess my biggest issue with these sites is the way that they oversimplify and categorize people based on sex. The usual form of such an entry involves taking a central focus of a personality trait that supposedly exists in everyone of a certain gender. If the author is the same sex that the piece is about, the focus will be in favor of said trait and the other sex being more forgiving (Ie; "Your Girlfriend Will Be Jealous, So Deal With It" or "Hey Women: Guys Are Always Going To Be Slobs!"). If written about the opposite sex, they will be in opposition of said trait (ie; "Stop Being So Jealous, Ladies" or "Would It Kill You To Change Your Sheets?")

A couple of days ago, I was reading a forum for gay video gamers, and one thread talked about how to reconcile your lifestyle as a hardcore gamer with a boyfriend who isn't one. Reading through this thread really helped me to solidify my thoughts on the problem at hand--what Datingish and our sex-specific blogs are doing wrong is simplifying all relationships into MAN and WOMAN--what they forget is that a relationship is really two individuals trying to make things work.

So is it possible that a guy will date a girl who becomes extremely jealous of every one of his female friends because she has low self esteem and needs to feel important? Sure. Is it going to happen in every relationship? No! Maybe a girl will be jealous for different reasons. Maybe she's not jealous at all. Maybe it's the guy who is jealous and insecure. Maybe indulging is the healthiest thing for the relationship. Maybe it isn't.

I don't really know what the point of this entry was, except to basically give a big fuck you to some of the stuff that is featured by Xanga. Learn to stop categorizing people based on sex and start giving relationship advice based on the people in question.

PART TWO

Speaking of gender and relationships, anyone watch Top Chef? (I'll gather the answer is no, so let me fill you in.) Top Chef is Bravo's fantastically fun rendition of Project Runway, except with food instead of clothes. Each episode features a Quickfire Challenge (a 15-30 minute exercise that will grant the winner an advantage of some sort) and an Elimination Challenge (in which the worst performer is booted.)

Top Chef has recently kicked off it's 6th season, which takes place in Las Vegas. For the second episode's elimination challenge, the chefs were split into teams of men and women for a Bachelor/ette party challenge--the men would cook for the bachelorette (which apparently isn't a word, according to spellcheck) and the women cooked for the bachelor.

Of course, because Top Chef airs on Bravo, aka the gayest network short of Logo, each season usually features a group of gay and lesbian chef. (This season has a gay guy and two lesbians competing.)

In what may be one of the most bizarre conclusions I have ever seen a person come to, Ashley, one of the lesbian chefs, was outraged that she and the other gay chefs were expected to participate in a wedding related challenge, given the fact that same sex couples cannot wed nationwide.

IN CASE YOU MISSED THAT: Lesbian chef feels that a marriage challenge is homophobic by nature.

I'm sure all of you reading this know that I am very much in favor of same sex marriage rights, but to me it was clear that Ashley was being a whiner in this situation and was just looking for an excuse to play victim. Would she reject a heterosexual couple from her own restaurant, outside of the show? Would she refuse attendance to a friend's wedding if the couple were a man and a woman? It is just as discriminatory as homophobia, and her bitchfit was no more appropriate than if it were a heterosexual chef being annoyed at having to cater a same sex marriage (which they have done before on other seasons of the show!)

Surprisingly, the world of GayMedia does not agree with me. The gay entertainment blogs that I follow, are, obviously, expected to keep tabs on any and all gay related incidences on TV--but besides that, I don't think they are automatically required to like them all. Most of them have applauded Ashley for her "bravery" in addressing marriage equality on TV. One commenter even said something along the lines of "as a gay friendly network, Bravo should be more conscious of having challenges that are 'sexuality netural.'"

I am sorry. This is not asking a black chef to cook for a KKK rally. And, for the record, Ashley did follow through with the challenge, as she said she ultimately wanted to be able to help the couple celebrate because she was happy for them, as people, who found each other. Good for her, but there was still absolutely no need to make it about you and how repressed you are.

Working hard or hardly working?

Sat, 25 Jul 2009 14:31:49 GMT

I am sitting at the computer at my desk/ my boss's desk at work. In 30 minutes I am off to put animals away. If I were being a good worker I would be out there greeting but my stomach is killing me and it's the volunteer's job to do it anyway so hmph.

I keep meaning to write in this more often but I always fail at that goal. I guess I forget that just because I know what's going on with my life doesn't mean everyone else does.

I'm at a loss for what to say, so the short list of how this summer is going-

-Still at Elmwood. The head educator is an enormous bitch but everyone sees it. My boss and I gripe in private frequently.
- In case you missed it I'm not going back to school this fall. The placeholder idea of "massage therapy" has been pretty much scrapped--I've been told by multiple people I may be able to get an exciting new zoo related job based on my experience alone. One of the keepers here works in Education at Philly and she has suggested some jobs for me. Here's hoping they are looking to hire someone who doesn't have a degree.
- Over this summer I have watched all of Avatar: The Last Airbender. When I finished I was left with a resounding sense of complete loss as to what to do next.
- True Blood is back with a vegance and is basically the only scripted drama I make a point of watching.
-America's Littlest Top Model is coming. Hopefully by the first week of August we will have the list of our petite beauties.
- I hear slacking!!!!! Jake is talking to one of the guest service kids about Kingdamn Hearts. I guess there is a momentary lull in visitor flow.
- Writing for Fantasy Land moves slowly as usual. Such is the plight of the aspiring author of cliche teen fantasy.
- Um yeah that's pretty much it.

Holy Fucking Shit

Sat, 30 May 2009 04:28:30 GMT

The Twist at the end of "The Sixth Sense" was taken from an episode of "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"